Closing the Gap

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In the first post of this series called, “Who are you Really?” we talked about how to discover your Values. We have all experienced the frustration, and pain of working in an environment which puts us at odds with our values.Arrow (101)

So what if you have done the hard work and have clarified your values? What if you now understand what isn’t working in your current work environment? What if you have “figured” out the disconnects?

So now are you feeling better or worse?

Sometimes knowing what the problem is means that you have to deal with it. It’s much easier if you can’t identify it because, then you can ignore it.

As a coach this is one of the key areas where I can serve my clients most…by helping them identify where the issues are, AND ,supporting them in the resolution. Those next steps can be frightening without someone who believes in you.

I call this closing the gap between learning who you are, and living who you are in the world.

In some cases you have just remained silent, in other cases maybe you were complicit in behaviours, which do not fit your values. This next step, this coming out, will feel like being on the edge of a precipice.

“What if they don’t agree with me?”

“What if they don’t like me?”

“What if they notice me?”

“What if I look stupid?”

“What if I’m wrong?”

You have your own tape of questions and fears playing in a loop in your head….just know that you are not alone….we all do this…it’s loudest between 2-4am during those darkest hours.

You will feel exposed in your new and true self. I liken it to those teenage years when we were all sure that everyone was watching our every move…when, in fact, they were all obsessing about their own behaviours and thinking everyone was watching them.

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.”

Dave Chappelle

From a coaching perspective this is the launching pad from which you move forward to become who you were meant to be.

It’s a bit like having the car of your dreams, perhaps an Aston Martin (full disclosure I am a James Bond fan) and driving it slowly through a constant construction zone….the car never gets to it’s full potential and you can never really enjoy the ride….any old car would perform in the same way in this situation.

What if the construction is gone and you have a clear road to give the car it’s head….then you can truly see how beautiful ,and how powerful it is. You become one with the car and there are no barriers as to where you can go.

That’s the best way to illustrate what happens when you go from where you are to where and, who you can be. Closing the gap between your values and your actions allows you this symmetry. From this place you can create what your heart desires.

“The possession of anything begins in the mind”

Bruce Lee

As always I value your comments.

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